I feel like I’ve worried you unnecessarily and I’d like to clarify a few things that seemed to be of some concern.
First thing is that I suffer from anxiety, not depression, so I get panicked but on my very worst days I’ve never wanted to cause myself any harm. I might have been exhausted and worried that it was something more than a panic attack, but that’s all it was.
My neurotic side kidnaps my rational side and I’m unable to function my way out of it.
Secondly, I posted this first letter, and there’ll be more to come, because this is a good outlet for me. Writing has been a passion and putting these thoughts and worries into words eases the cycle in my mind. I write it so I don’t have to have it replaying over and over in my consciousness.
Thirdly, medication and therapy have got me to a stage where I can talk about this and that’s so important for me, because it was far too painful at the time. Now that I’m in a better place, I want to tell you what happened, to show you, and me, that I got past it for the time. My hope is that I’ll never again be that bad.
So to everyone I’ve yet to personally respond to, consider this my sincerest thanks. My thanks for your support and encouragement. For being you. For offering time and someone to listen.
This means more than you’ll ever know.
I love you all so much!!
So very much.
I’ll be posting these letters every Tuesday and Thursday, and should you have the time it would mean a lot if you can check it out.