Dear Dazai (and you wonderful people!)
Today is the day where I’ve probably stumbled the hardest, the first day and I’m feeling a little defeated if I’m honest. I promised myself that I wouldn’t feel angry or disappointed, and I’m not exactly, but I think this was the first time where I didn’t get to some of the things that I was most enthused about this week.
So with that in mind, I haven’t touched a book today to read, last night after I’d finished working like a madwoman on Mae, I found that I simply didn’t have enough energy or mental capacity to throw myself into a book. As it was sleep didn’t come as readily as I would have liked because my head was filled with Mae, what I wanted to do in particular sections, what I was looking forward to, what I was nervous about and honestly, I’m already at the annoying writer bit, where I’m needy about feedback on nearly everything I’m doing. Terrified of making a misstep.
So reading was out of the question last night, but I’m determined to meet my goal so I’ll choose two things tonight, two things I’m confident can be read by the end of Sunday.
As for Mae, I’m working hard, but easily distractable. It’s something that happens to me when I get into something, for the few first days, when the idea is new and I have blank paper in front of me, there’s a rush about what I’m doing. Terror as well for sure, but a definite rush, and I’m able to focus on it. As I get a little further into it, there comes a moment where I can’t focus on it. I want to talk to someone about the idea I’m having or the thoughts that I’m having, so I keep turning away from what I’m actually meant to be doing. I’m making myself a promise that I’ll try and focus tomorrow, when I don’t have other things to do and have some more time to write. I might even try for six hours tomorrow, knowing that there’s nothing wrong if I don’t meet it.
As for the organising, I have officially completeed my original goal and am almost finished with the goal I set myself yesterday. I managed to organise all the shelves that have boardgames on them tonight, so now I have about three shelves left in my bedroom that need some attention, and I’m prepared to do them tomorrow. I’ve even organised some new homes for some of the things that I don’t need anymore. It was proving a little difficult today because both kittens, but particularly Erza, was determined to exist in every new space that I made. So as soon as I had a clear shelf or drawer or bag she was in it. Adorable, but a little bit annoying.
Beatrice got a lot of attention today, mainly because I was trying to distract myself from Mae. It was easier to go back and edit Beatrice than it was to add new words to Mae. So there will definitely be a new chapter up on Sunday! So everyone should head over there and check it out then!
Finally, for tea, which has proven one of the most enjoyable things I’ve done this week. I decided that Friday deserved to be a matcha day, so both teas I’ve drunk today have been matcha.
The first I did massacre a bit by making myself a matcha latte. I do like a matcha latte, but I do try and make it when I lower quality matcha in my cupboard, which I currently don’t have. I only have lovely matcha at the moment and I do consider it a bit of a waste to use matcha of a quality to make something were you’re diluting the flavour of it, but I was craving a matcha latte so we make do. I was exceptionally grateful to find that I still have some Uji Matcha from Mariage Frères, which is a lovely matcha, but it’s not as nice as the other matchas I’ve bought in Japan. It’s a little bitter on the edge and I find that you get a more well rounded flavour from the others. It does have a particularly verdant green colour which I appreciate it, but it lack a bit of that earthiness that I like in matcha.
The second is a matcha that my parent’s bought me in Kyoto. It’s got a particularly rich earthy aroma when it’s made, but still a lingering aftertaste of leaves. It’s a much deeper green, almost emerald in colour when you make it and it’s deliciously smooth. It’s almost a pity that matcha is drunk as quickly as it is because sometimes the experience is almost over too quickly. When making matcha, traditionally, it should be drunk in three mouthfuls and sometimes I hope for more. So after I’ve finished writing this, I might make another cup of it for myself. Just one more, because of the way that it’s made, I find it incredibly filling and can’t manage more than a couple of cups at the end of the day.