Dear Dazai

It’s hard when people we care about have episodes, episodes where their reality is out of sync with everyone else. Where they see something or feel something that the rest of the world doesn’t.

It’s hard being that person too. Especially when we know it’s not rational, that it’s not who we are, but it’s who we are in that moment and for a moment we can’t escape it.

One of the hardest things of all, trying to know or guess or divine some way to help because we feel so helpless. We can often hope for understanding but it’s rarely given. Mostly though, we hope for patience. Patience for our inability to be part of the world, of reality for a time.

Patience is hard because it makes us feel helpless. We want to help, want to do something, anything, to help the people we love. Sometimes we might try but we have no patience to offer and rationalise our own actions as something we need. Patience is horrible because it’s hard to give.

Still sometimes in order to help, to do the right thing by someone, assuming no direct threat to themselves or others, patience is the only thing we can do. We cannot change someone’s reality. We can only hope that there’ll be a time when we share it. A common outlook, perspective, understanding, as much as two people ever can.

Still it does nothing to calm the beating of our hearts.

Or to offer help in a way we hope to.


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