Dear Dazai,

It’s been a while and I’m writing on a Wednesday, something that I don’t often do. Honestly, I should have written sooner than this but I’ve been having a case of hesitation about it. The first time in a long time, I’ve been hesitant about adding something to this forum. 

It’s come at a bit of surprise to me to be honest. Surprise that at this point I’m not prepared to well, write about anything. I’m generally quite candid but in this case, I couldn’t find the words.

I tried.

I tried a lot.

I’ve got a number of drafts that I started and then never did anything with. I simply kept writing them hoping that it would sound better each time I put the words on paper. It didn’t.

I think there’s an anxiousness there. Not really about the thing but about me. Sometimes I feel as though I lose myself a little in all of this and I’m grateful for the release that it gives me, but at the same time, it’s a good thing to have something for yourself.

Something that you know is part of who you are without shouting it from the rooftops.

Plus I’ve been quite anaemic lately and been feeling rundown, so I’m going to say that’s the real reason I haven’t been writing. But we’ll know the truth.

And maybe one day, I’ll get around to actually writing the blog I want to write. Or don’t want to write. Maybe I’ll make a decision about that.


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